Networking for Introverts

We’ve all heard that networking is the key to success, but socializing with strangers can feel daunting to many introverted creatives. This might lead you to think that networking isn’t for you, but think again – with the right mindset, you can turn your introversion into networking superpowers. Here are some tips to help you excel at (and even enjoy!) networking.

Reset Your Reasons 

Networking is a means to an end, and for most people, the end goal is a new publisher, client, book deal, etc. But for many introverts, these transactional interactions can feel superficial and off-putting. Networking doesn’t need to feel that way! By reconsidering your reasons for networking, it can feel purposeful, practical, or whatever else you want it to be.

There are many reasons for networking that might be more suitable for introverts. Focus on what you care about – whether it’s helping people, being creative, learning new skills, etc. – and find ways to accomplish those things through networking.  For example, you might approach an editor with the only goal of listening actively. While talking with your peers, focus on giving comfort to others who are searching.  When you need to introduce yourself, think of it as a chance to practice effective storytelling. Redefining your reasons will make networking more appealing to you, and your genuine enthusiasm will make you more appealing to others (which will ultimately help you land that book deal).

Go to Your Comfort Zone

Don’t like to network? Then don’t!  Instead, focus on connecting.  Every connection you make (not just the business cards you collect) is a potential reference, employer, or client. So make the most out of your existing comfort zone and see what connections you can build from there.   

Do you love sharing ideas, but hate in-person meetings? Then get active on social media.  Do you love reading, but hate small talk? Start a book club. Do you love personal introspection, but hate “selling” yourself? Try a memoir writing class. Be open about who you are and what you’re looking for, and then get creative. Opportunities for connections are everywhere.

Also, be patient – if you prefer deeper relationships to strangers at cocktail hour, then take your time to build those relationships. Over time, you’ll naturally make connections and broaden your circle of supporters (a.k.a. your “network”).

Start Training

Is there anything holding you back from networking? Many introverts struggle with things like self-doubt, conversation skills, and even eye contact. But don’t worry; many introverts also thrive on things like self-reflection, research, and analysis. Use those talents to take stock of your obstacles and come up with a training plan to tackle them. Be realistic, do your research, and expect a marathon. Your “Day 1” of training might be going to a café with your best friend and practicing talking about yourself in public.

Have fun with this! If you’re worried you don’t know enough about current events, then mine popular podcasts for conversation topics. If you think you’re too awkward, then that yoga class you’ve been eyeing can help you become more comfortable in your body. At the same time, challenge yourself to break down your barriers. Think of fears, excuses, negative self-talk; you might have too many naysayers or unfulfilling obligations that drain your time and energy. Face your fears, live your best life, and be prepared for people to find you fascinating.

Know Yourself and Prepare Accordingly

Remember, this isn’t about magically becoming extroverted. Embrace your introversion and treat yourself kindly.  If you know that an upcoming meeting will be draining, then recharge your battery beforehand, whether that means taking a nap or cuddling with your fur baby.  And expect social situations to be uncomfortable – that doesn’t mean you’ve failed (or that others even noticed)!  It just means you deserve a pat on the back for braving that discomfort for the sake of your bigger goals. And speaking of that pat on the back, don’t forget the wind-down. Have a plan for what you’ll do after the event, whether it’s taking a bubble bath or stopping by your favorite bookstore.  Give yourself space, grace, and plenty of positive reinforcement.

Conclusion

Introverts often have a rich inner world and a knack for building authentic and productive relationships – don’t let these skills go to waste.  By knowing (and accepting) who you are, you can redefine networking and make it work for you.